S J D

fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I hate everything. This is such a livejournal post.

All the things I want to do right now are impossible: swim but the pools are all closed, pool hopping in this town is impossible (I've tried), and there are no lakes to jump into. I don't really do running, as much as I want to. The only reason I do is because know I'll become skinny if I stick to it long enough. So exercising my frustration away is out.

Screaming is out because even at my angriest and most defeated I respect my neighbors more than that.

I'll never be a cutter because scars are ugly. Therefore I also won't whip myself with my belt or bang my head against a door or wall.

Cussing out my parents, who caused some of this anger, would absolutely get me nowhere. Possibly even retrograde me more.

Work. Also something that is causing my trouble. The lack of it is stunning, and it's becoming painfully apparent every time I think about ... anything.

If you can think of legit things that aren't "prostitution" or some variant thereof for me to become fucking EMPLOYED by someone who respects me more than the Abercrombie & Fitch corporation, please let me know.

like. asap. yesterday asap.

Or anger management ideas. That would be sweet too. Because right now I'm seething and kinda crying in my bed. Not so great.

F.

May 12-June 5. And it was so worth the wait.

Hey, everybody! So here's the deal: if you have this blog on an RSS feed, keep it there because I WILL continue to update it, but it will happen far less frequently than ever before, because...

I HAVE A NEW BLOG!

At my new, eponymous site you'll see my headshots, learn more about me as a singer and student, my opinions on various current events in the musical world and beyond, and still be able to find out what I think about some daily life occurrences, too! Additionally, there are links to my Facebook page and Twitter there, so please feel free to peep those as well!

I'm really excited to share this with you and look forward to your comments on it, however they arrive -- on the site, through email, IM, Tweet, etc. Thanks so much for your support, and I'll see you at my new blog!


http://samueljamesdewese.wordpress.com/

I was all into starting up my new blog when I realized I should really be investigating the website I need as a performer, where I can easily maintain a blog. Does anyone have any information on setting up a personal website? As in: advice on domains, layout/design, etc? I'm really kinda lost besides the few websites I'm familiar with, including Andrei's and those of some singers here at the University of Illinois.

So, any information? I'm going to go ahead and start a new blog anyway, and then transfer my entries should I have a personal website anytime soon (cross your fingers!) My new URLs(s) will be up shortly, as soon as there's something for you to see at the new site(s).

Thanks in advance!

Because who else am I going to tell this to but the few people who read this blog? I haven't gotten off (self inflicted or otherwise) since before finals were over. Since before May 11. My life sucks. But after a while I figured "I should just hold off until whenever because at this point it'll be damn good then" and here we are ... fuck haha. Only NOT! Baaaah my wit is astounding. Haha.

Maybe I'll keep this blog just so I can keep typing things like that...woof I'm a joke lol

For a few reasons, but mostly because I have a new email address (which will be associated with my new blog, but which I'll also include here for the few of you who may want to contact me directly and don't want to comment and wait for me to notice it on here) and thus it's more complicated to get onto this blog.

So, it's been real. My first entry on my new blog will be up kinda soon-ish, but until then I won't worry about telling you a URL or anything, because (surprise!) I haven't decided on one yet. A few very vanilla options are floating around my mind, and it will probably be one of those, mostly because this new blog will be "real" ish haha. So that's what's up with me, if you were wondering.

Possibly the only reason I haven't deleted my old Gmail address (I made the switch over the weekend I think, or late last week) is this blog. So I may just start another one and force you all to find me there. But that might be too much work so ... we'll just have to see.